Hey there, fellow adventurers of the world! Living abroad can be a whirlwind of emotions. The excitement of exploring a new culture, the frustration of not being able to read the simplest signs, and, of course, the occasional wave of loneliness that crashes over you like a tsunami. But hold on! In the heart of being a ‘gaijin,’ there’s an unexpected perk that arises from the foreigner experience – ample personal space.
In this ever chaotic world, where truth is by far stranger than fiction, sometimes you need to disconnect… And that’s one thing you can do quite easily when living abroad.
Disconnecting
In this ever chaotic world, where truth is by far stranger than fiction, sometimes you need to disconnect. The scandals of leaders, the corruption of systems, the manipulation of the weak, the death of the planet, people killing one another for petty reasons – sometimes you need to filter out all that noise. But when media is growing more pervasive, slipping from newstands to TVs in our living rooms and now into our pockets, and when our entertainment is “social media” where everyone’s voice is unfiltered and screaming, what can you do? Disconnect. And that’s one thing you can do quite easily when living abroad.
The Beauty of Not Understanding
There is an interesting byproduct from the isolation you experience in Japan. It is tranquility. Since most people won’t interact with you here, you don’t have to interact if you don’t want to. You can walk through the bustling Shibuya Crossing or the serene Kyoto streets, enveloped in your thoughts, tunes, or just the sweet sound of silence. That isolation sometime turns out to be a blessing in disguise.
There is great joy to be had strolling down the street and not “seeing” the propaganda for the latest politician. Being able to “listen” only when you want to is something I’m sure everyone has wanted from time to time. In Japan, as a gaijin, this luxury comes free.
The beauty of not understanding everything around you is that you get to choose what to focus on. So that means you don’t have to listen about the many things you have no control over. You can focus more on your life and making it better, on becoming a better person, on finding happiness, or simply your favorite pop song of the week. That’s if you choose to focus on the positive.
The Downside of Personal Space
This sea of personal space, while a respite, can be a double-edged sword. To stay informed, to know about crucial events or warnings (say nuclear waste is leaking out of a power plant or something), you have to actively seek out information. It means you can become even more isolated if you don’t try to be a part of the world around you. And that’s not good for some people. Those that tend to fall off the map or delve into depression have to be especially careful.
This isn’t just a gaijin struggle; it’s a societal challenge in Japan. The structure of Japanese society often leads many locals to disconnect. I think that’s one reason some people are not interested in finding romantic relationships or having families, and why Japan has one of the highest suicide rates in the world.
In lots of ways, it can be positive, however. Because of this disconnect I’ve grown to realize how noisy life was in America. The constant sales calls, the spam and junk mail filling every digital portal, the commercials that fill nearly half of every TV program (and now YouTube video). This ability to disconnect made me realize how much of life back in the States was dominated by the constant push to sell, sell, sell. Don’t get me wrong, Japan is just as capitalistic. But I never knew America had turned the volume up to 11 until I saw somewhere else.
Finding Balance
Now, let’s not dig too deep into that rabbit hole today – we’ll save the musings on seeing the world through new eyes in a later post. The point is, this newfound disconnect allowed me to evaluate what was truly valuable to me, both personally and in the broader context of society. It was a revelation, a chance to form my own opinions rather than echo the rhetoric of a system I hadn’t even realized I was immersed in.
I’ve lived in Japan for 20 years, much longer than I lived in the US as an adult. I’ve learned to be able to filter out the noise but also to connect when needed. It’s important to be a part of the world around you and to contribute to it. It’s important to have purpose in your world. Unfortunately, as a gaijin, there are less direct opportunities to connect in that community. It mostly comes down to language. Because I’m pretty sure I’d be accepted enough to be given responsibilities (say like the cleaning of the neighborhood, or the crew that calls out to be careful of fire in dry seasons). And as a father of a elementary school student, I still attend events and observations. But unfortunately I can’t quite understand important details well enough without help. This makes it more work to have me a part of the group than to just not be a part at all. So connecting when I want to can be pretty challenging.
But isn’t that the essence of life, regardless of where you are? The eternal quest for balance – finding the sweet spot between connection and personal space .Life is about learning to dance to the rhythm of society while still holding onto the beats of our own identity.
So, my fellow wanderers, as we navigate this intriguing land of contrasts that we call life, let’s embrace the tranquility of the disconnect while being vigilant not to slip into the abyss of isolation. Japan offers a unique lens through which to view the world (for me at least), and in this cacophony of experiences, I hope we all find our own rhythm, our own melody. Cheers to the adventure.
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*I don’t use AI for my artwork. These filler images are just for fun and aren’t meant to represent my art so they have been labeled “AI GENERATED.” I want my blog to be enjoyable for you but I don’t have 2-6 hours to draw each image (this blog is done in my free time). If you’re against AI in art, please direct your criticism elsewhere (maybe someone trying to pass off AI generated images as their art). I am not doing that.
